Good Advice
by Leben ist Magie
Summary: In which Sarah wishes away something valuable, and a small epic adventure ensues. J/S


**A/N:** When I imagine myself writing Labyrinth fanfiction, this is _not_ what I picture.

Disclaimer: I own nada, zip, zilch, null, and so on. Although Jim Henson is my personal homeboy.

* * *

It was a dark night in mid-November. The trees had already shed their leaves, so that when the wintery wind blew through the copse of maples by the house, the branches rattled like dancing skeletons.

Sarah Williams, now a grown and fully matured woman of twenty, was sitting on her bed and resolutely chewing on the cap of her ball-point pen. The pen was wandering listlessly around a lined sheet of notebook paper, which was completely devoid of anything other than scribbles and doodles.

Sarah sighed dramatically. "This is by far the stupidest, most pointless paper I have ever written," she said out loud. "I bet that even the goblins would refuse to take it away."

She straightened after saying that. "I didn't mean it!" she said to the empty corners of her room, where the warm yellow light from her lamps couldn't quite chase away the nightly shadows. Sarah cast a furtive glance at her dressing table mirror, and then to the window.

Satisfied that both the mirror and the window would remain completely goblin-free, Sarah returned her attention to doodling.

She was deeply submerged in the process of creating an intricate border around the page, with curling vines and small loopy flowers, when she heard a small _pop_ from somewhere in her room. Sarah turned around and screamed.

The Goblin King winced. "Is that really necessary?" he asked, brushing some remaining glitter from his shoulders. He put his hands on his hips and surveyed her from his position by the closet.

Sarah stood up on her bed and fisted her pen in her hand. "Don't move any closer," she warned menacingly.

"Or else what?" he asked, raising an arched eyebrow. "You'll spear me with your writing utensil?"

"Well—yes." Sarah hesitated. "It's very pointy," she stuttered. "And…it stains! Forever!"

"Really?" The Goblin King eyed the pen dubiously for a moment, and then cast a worried glance down at his spotless white shirt. He stayed where he was.

"Whatareyoudoinghere?" Sarah managed to squeak.

"You made a bet, if I recall," the Goblin King replied smoothly.

"I took it back," Sarah argued immaturely. "I said I didn't mean it."

"What's said is said," said the Goblin King solemnly. He crossed his arms over his chest.

Sarah groaned. "Not that again. I didn't wish anything away."

"It can be applied wherever I am in the mood to apply it."

"And right now you're in the mood to torment me, is that it?" Sarah asked crossly.

"I won't tell you what I'm really _in the mood_ for," he replied suggestively.

Sarah cringed.

"So dramatic, precious thing," he admonished. "I simply wanted to call on an old adversary—" the Goblin King tipped his head in her direction "—and grant her wish. Or bet, in this case."

Sarah decided to switch tactics. "How _generous_ of you, Goblin King" she replied sweetly. "But I'm afraid it isn't necessary. You can just run along back to your kingdom now—"

"Come, come, Sarah," the Goblin King interrupted. "You know my name. As a champion of the Labyrinth, you are permitted to say it."

"That will be unnecessary, _Goblin King_," Sarah replied. "Now would you please leave me in peace so I can get back to my paper—"

"Your bet was about this paper, yes? 'Even the goblins would refuse to take it away,' hmm?" The Goblin Kind held out his hand and Sarah's outline, which had been underneath the notebook paper, appeared in his gloved fingers. He looked over it briefly.

Sarah scrabbled around her bed, which was covered in papers and notebooks. "You can't take that! I need it!" she said loudly.

"Apparently, I can take it," said the Goblin King, his eyes still on her paper. "What is this about fairytales? Still the little girl who plays with her toys and her costumes?"

"I'm not a little girl!" Sarah said angrily, her face reddening in frustration. "The author uses the basic plots of fairytales in her stories, and I have to explain why—"

"I _can_ read the outline," the Goblin King interrupted sarcastically. He dangled the paper by his thumb and index finger. Sarah leapt from her bed and tried to snatch them from him, but he deftly held them out of her reach. He wore a rather amused smirk on his face. "Oh, did you want it?" he asked.

"Oh, I wish you would go away, right now!" Sarah exclaimed, stamping her foot like a three year old.

Her room was suddenly silent. The Goblin King had disappeared, leaving behind only a small pile of glitter on her carpet.

"Thank goodness!" she said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Now I can work on my paper in peace—"

She stiffened, remembering something. "That rat still has my outline!"

Sarah groaned and looked at her pile of papers. "I guess I'll just have to start all over again." She sat back down on her bed.

An hour later, Sarah had very little to show for her effort. "I can't remember half the points I wanted to make! Maybe Hoggle could tell me how to get it back…"

With no further thought, Sarah jumped off the bed and dashed to her dressing table mirror. "Hoggle, I need you," she said imploringly to her reflection.

The mirror wavered a little before a friendly dwarf's visage appeared in it. "Haven't seen you in a while, Sarah," he said a little reproachfully.

Looking back, Sarah recalled that she hadn't spoken to him since before the beginning of the current semester. Guilt flooded her for a moment.

"I'm really sorry, Hoggle. I just got so caught up with my classes—and you know I stay in the dorms most of the time. I'm just back for Thanksgiving break."

"Yeah, yeah," Hoggle waved away her excuses. "What's the matter? You look…upset."

Sarah did look rather frustrated. Her cheeks were still flushed, and now her hair was mussed from pulling at it while she racked her brains for ideas.

"The Goblin King stole the outline for my final paper, and I didn't even wish it away!" Sarah exclaimed, sounding a little whiny even to her own ears. "Well, I wished him away, and he had it in his hand," she conceded, "but he provoked me."

"Well, what are you gonna do about it?" Hoggle asked, more patiently than Sarah thought he would.

"I need it back, and so I thought I might…pay him a visit in the Labyrinth?" Sarah hadn't actually thought of a plan.

"Just march into his castle an' take it back?" Hoggle asked incredulously.

Sarah shrugged. "It worked the last time, didn't it?"

"So it did," Hoggle said. He appeared to be in deep thought for a few moments. "Well, his Majesty may skin me—or us—alive, if he found out. An' he always finds out."

Sarah wrung her hands nervously. "Is there any way I could get by…undetected?"

"Nope," said Hoggle. "You might as well wish Jareth back into your room an' ask him."

"Impossible," Sarah declared flatly. "He would never give it back to me as long as it's amusing for him."

"Well, the way I see it, that's the only choice you could make without anything nasty happening."

Sarah sighed. "Could I just—I don't know—walk through the mirror?"

"You would need to take my hand," Hoggle said, offering his own browned and wrinkled appendage.

"But didn't you say that the Goblin King would know it was you? What happens if he bogs you?"

Hoggle shrugged. "You need help, an' you're my friend," he responded simply.

Sarah felt guilty once again for not calling her friends more often. "Oh Hoggle, _thank you_!" She really meant it.

Hoggle blushed—or at least he appeared a little browner than usual. "Just take my hand, will you?"

"Of course," Sarah said. She reached out and touched her friends hand through the mirror—it was _cold_—and waited. She blinked. Nothing happened.

"What do I do next—oh!" All of a sudden she felt dizzy, and had to close her eyes as the floor lurched underneath her. The air changed, and Sarah knew before she opened her eyes that she was not in her room anymore.

"Alright," said Hoggle, suddenly businesslike. "We're a little bit past the hedge mazes. Just follow the smell from the bog an' you'll be at the castle in no time."

"Thank you so much, Hoggle!" Sarah exclaimed again, feeling the slightest bit redundant. Remembering his reaction the last time she tried to kiss him, she opted for a small hug instead.

Hoggle patted her back feebly and pulled away. "Better go quickly, 'fore His Majesty realizes you're here," he said gruffly.

"Alright," Sarah agreed. She waved and set off.

It took her a few minutes to find the wall surrounding the bog. "I do not want to run into the Fireys again," she said to the pale stones. "Maybe there's a door somewhere around here…"

Just as soon as she had spoken, a door formed right in front of her. Sarah looked at it curiously. It was made of a deep red wood. The bronze doorknob gleamed in the sun.

"Well, might as well try," Sarah said to herself with a shrug. She grasped the warmed metal and turned.

She gasped at the stench as she stepped onto the banks surrounding the bog. "Looks like I found the place." She held one of the sleeves of her college sweatshirt to her nose.

Sarah wandered around the edge of the bank until she found the bridge. Just as she stepped on it she heard a familiar bark.

"Halt! Who goes—_Lady Sarah_?"

"Sir Didymus!" Sarah exclaimed happily, uncovering her nose long enough to quickly embrace her friend.

"What brings thee to my humble corner of the Labyrinth?" he asked, still surprised at her appearance.

"The Goblin King stole the outline for my final paper, and I need it back," Sarah explained quickly. "He doesn't know I'm here yet, so I need to reach the castle and get it back before he sends the goblin army after me."

"Well, that was rather unchivalrous of him," the knight agreed. "In that case, I will assist you in your quest!"

"Thank you, Sir Didymus!" Sarah said, relieved. She didn't know how to get to the junkpile from the bog, since the last time she had been a little occupied.

"No need to thank me, milady," Sir Didymus said. "'Tis my duty as an honorable knight to assist a damsel in distress!" He called for his steed.

Sarah and Sir Didymus crossed the bridge with little trouble, thanks to the rocks Ludo had called during her last visit. It reminded Sarah of her furry friend, so she asked the knight what Ludo was up to.

"His Majesty gave Sir Ludo a job, repairing the walls of the labyrinth. My brother now lives comfortably on the outer border."

Sarah thought that made sense, and followed after Sir Didymus quietly for the rest of the trip.

They stopped at the gates of the city. They were different; smaller than the gates Sarah had used before. "Since you wanted a more discreet entrance, I thought that entering through the side gates might be more appropriate," the Knight explained quietly.

"Yes, that is true," Sarah agreed. "Thank you so much for your help."

"It was my pleasure," replied Sir Didymus, bowing ceremoniously from his saddle. Ambrosias barked in agreement. They turned down the path, but didn't move out of sight until after Sarah had entered the goblin city.

The town seemed very quiet, which made Sarah worry that the Goblin King did indeed know she was here.

It took her a while to navigate the narrow cobblestone streets and alleyways. The city looked different compared to Sarah's memories of her last visit. Everything was cleaner, and plenty of vegetation grew in windows and cultivated garden plots.

Sarah took a deep breath as she finally gazed up the steps to the castle. She debated racing up them quickly, but settled for going as quietly as possible. The front doors were heavy, but Sarah managed to swing one open without too much noise.

"Well, well," drawled a voice from the far end of the empty—and suspiciously clean—throne room. "You have fought your way through my labyrinth once again, Sarah."

"To take back the outline you have stolen," Sarah replied angrily.

The Goblin King smirked and continued to survey Sarah. She began to feel uncomfortable.

"Well?" he asked harshly, a few moments later. "Aren't you going to say it?"

"Say what?" Sarah asked, confused.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten. 'For my will is as strong as yours,' and all of that nonsense." The Goblin King stood up from his throne and put his hands on his hips.

"Well, I was hoping you would just give it back this time," Sarah said meekly.

The Goblin King looked pensive. "Perhaps I could…if you asked nicely."

Sarah was appalled at how agreeable he was being, but decided to play along. "Okay. May I please have my outline back, your majesty?" She asked politely.

Jareth appeared to be considering her request. "Jareth," he said.

"Huh?" Sarah asked.

"You know my name, and I want you to say it," the Goblin King said, with another faint smirk on his lips. "'May I please have my outline back, _Jareth_?'"

Sarah rolled her eyes but couldn't stop the smile that was creeping out. "May I please have my outline back, Jareth?" she repeated quickly.

"Why certainly, precious thing," the Goblin King—Jareth—replied. He walked across the throne room and handed Sarah back her paper.

"While we're on the subject," Sarah said impulsively, "why do you call me that?"

"What?" asked Jareth, feigning ignorance.

"'Precious thing,'" Sarah quoted, embarrassed.

"Who?" Jareth raised an eyebrow.

Sarah groaned. '_You're just not asking the right questions_,' spoke a voice in her head. "Why do you call me 'precious thing'?" she said, frustrated.

"Because you are," replied Jareth simply.

Sarah blinked. She felt the blush creeping up her face, and switched the subject. "Why did you show up in my room tonight?" she asked.

"So many questions, Sarah," Jareth whispered, leaning close enough for Sarah to feel his breath puff against her ear. "Although I suppose I can answer that. You made a bet about my goblins, and I decided to take you up on your wager." He drew back. Sarah pretended to feel relieved.

"Well—plenty of people make bets," she pointed out. "You don't show up every time my father has a poker game."

"That is because your father is a singularly_ boring_ creature, as is most of the human race. You, on the other hand, are refreshingly…interesting."

Sarah resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his choice of adjective. Instead she allowed an awkward silence to settle over the room.

"Well, are you going to leave, or did you want to stay for tea?" Jareth asked briskly, walking back to his throne and throwing himself in it.

"Er-" Sarah stuttered, momentarily distracted by the view provided by Jareth's actions. His pants were _incredibly_ form-hugging.

"Well?" Jareth said, impatience coloring his tone.

Sarah managed to drag her gaze back to Jareth's face. "I do like tea—I mean, I'm a little hungry after fighting through all those dangers untold and hardships unnumbered."

"Really?" asked Jareth, taken aback. He looked up. Sarah thought his eyes looked unusually bright.

"Well…yes," Sarah said.

Jareth rose from his throne and walked across the room at a leisurely pace with his usual catlike grace. "Allow me to escort you," he said courteously, offering her his arm.

Sarah took it, trying to ignore the warmth she felt radiating from his body at such a close distance.

After a leisurely snack of freshly baked scones and a few cups of tea, Sarah was feeling much more relaxed in the presence of the Goblin King. He wasn't a bad conversationalist, and she decided she rather enjoyed his brand of wry humor.

Being more accustomed to Jareth's presence also made her feel a little more reckless.

"You never did answer my question," Sarah remarked, nibbling on some crumbs left on her plate. The china was decorated with curling vines and broad leaves in green and gold.

"Which one?" asked Jareth, teacup raised halfway to his lips.

"Why did you show up in my room tonight? I've made plenty of bets before, and even a few involving goblins, but you've never appeared before now."

Jareth sat back and regarded her from across the table. "Why are you so curious to know?"

Sarah thought about it. "I just…want to know why—after five years—you would decide to randomly pop in to my bedroom. Do you do this with all the champions of the labyrinth?"

Jareth snorted. "Hardly. Most have passed away, and the rest would probably beat me with whatever cookware they had on hand."

Sarah smiled at the image.

Jareth's expression turned more serious. "I suppose…I was curious as to what you've been doing. You were the youngest runner to defeat the labyrinth, and I was interested in seeing if it might have affected you more than the others."

Sarah felt her heart sink a little bit, although she had no idea why. "I see," she said.

"And I also might have grown…a little fond of you, during your stay."

Sarah's heart rose a little.

"It is rather lonely here, after all. The goblins are not well-versed in the art of conversation," Jareth said wryly, taking another sip of tea.

Sarah was shocked. The Goblin King was lonely, and he was actually _admitting_ it. She glanced out the window, checking for any other natural phenomena.

Jareth cleared his throat, mistaking her silence. "Well, look at the time," he said. "I suppose you must want to be off." He rose from the chair.

Sarah placed her teacup back on the service tray. "I guess," she said quietly. "But—" she faltered.

Jareth turned to her. "But?" he questioned.

"I could—that is, could I—come back soon? It was…" Sarah searched for a word. "…fun."

Jareth's posture relaxed. "Of course. You may come whenever you wish."

Sarah smiled. "Cool!"

Jareth raised an eyebrow at her word choice, but didn't say anything.

"So how do I go about going home? I'm all out of ruby slippers." Sarah looked down at her scuffed clogs.

"Pardon?" Jareth's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"Oh, never mind."

Jareth looked bemused for a moment before addressing her question. "You can walk through your mirror again."

"How?" Sarah asked. "I didn't see anything when Hoggle let me through—oh, crap. Please don't give him a hard time. I asked him to—"

Jareth waved away her pleas. "I won't punish Higgle. He is partially responsible for this delightful evening."

"Oh," Sarah said, relaxing. "That's good."

"As for the mirror: I have one, too." Jareth offered his arm again. "May I?"

Sarah hooked her arm in his. "Lead on," she said, waving the space in front of them.

Jareth led her through a mind-boggling series of corridors and empty rooms before coming before a full-length, ornately framed mirror.

"Wow," Sarah remarked.

"Quite," said Jareth, smirking again.

Sarah gave him a glare, reflected off the surface of the glass. "How does it work?"

"Simply summon up the picture of your room in your mind's eye; the mirror will do the rest."

Sarah closed her eyes and pictured her bedroom, complete with the clothes she had strewn haphazardly on the floor earlier that day. "Alright," she said.

"Good," Jareth said. "Now step through."

Sarah walked forward, expecting to feel the same icy chill she had felt earlier when she put her hand through the mirror. The sensation never came. Instead, Sarah tripped over a shoe.

Behind her, Jareth chuckled. Sarah opened her eyes and turned around. She was surprised to see that he hadn't actually followed her; he was still on the other side of the mirror.

"I trust that you are safely back in your room, and now I will take my leave," he said, bowing courteously.

Sarah didn't know quite what to do in response, so she settled on an awkward curtsey. "'Till we meet again, Goblin King."

Jareth smiled in the mirror—a _true_ smile—and slowly his image blurred. It was replaced by the ordinary reflection of a dark-haired girl in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Well, back to my essay," Sarah said joylessly. She pulled out some clean sheets of paper and uncapped another pen, preparing to write. She looked at her outline.

"Wait a second," she said, flipping through the pages, which were now covered in red scrawls. "He _edited_ it?"

The owl outside her window fluttered hurriedly off its perch at the sound of Sarah's indignant screech.

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End file.
